How much do you love yourself on a scale of 1-10?
Once I started asking myself this question, I thought my self worth and everything that came with it was just how it was. Once I asked myself….
I realized I was at a 3 out of 10 in self-love.
And this brought awareness which allowed me to make shifts. I will share my love level shortly:)
The reason I ask you where you are in self love, is because as a leader, the relationship you have between you and you impacts the relationship you have with all 24 areas of life and business, and because you are a powerful person, it will impact the people around you.
The way you show up to your purpose, to your relationships, to team meetings… everything is a reflection of how you feel inside.
Social impact starts with self-love.
Now before reading this you might say: Self love doesn’t have a place in the workplace. Well just because you don’t give it a place, doesn’t mean it doesn’t already have its place and impact.
Take a moment and think: What would business be like, if everyone was a 10 out of 10 in self love.
Once I had this vision, my entire life shifted.
My relationship with money, business, sales, leadership, communication all elevated because I was coming from a place of love and abundance instead of stress, overwhelm and reaction.
Today, we’re going to go through all things self love so you can love yourself better, love others better and make a bigger impact on the planet.
My mantra is “Living the dream is feeling good on the way to living your dreams”
The complete opposite of the Capital dream we’ve all come so accustomed to.
We study hard at school, learn our IQ is the most important attribute we have, get a job, make some sweet moolah, buy some cool stuff that makes us happy in the short term and then retire at 65 to finally enjoy life.
Some of us have realized this is a set-up to awake from.
Others are still trapped inside it, unaware of the true happiness and fulfilment they can find within themselves.
We get to shift the belief where sacrifice is required for success.
If anything the opposite is true, as time and time again we see CEOs, entrepreneurs and team members burning themselves out for the greater good and for one day someday success, and never feeling fulfilled by what they set out to do.
By putting more of a focus on how we love ourselves we get to be present and appreciative of the present moment. We generate more confidence, more competence and in turn, directly influence our level of success.
A higher frequency of self-love =
An elevated level of love for others =
Increased confidence in our ability =
Greater fulfilment and success.
I’m a testament to that fact and we’ll be shifting those beliefs a little later on.
Before we do though, let’s take a look at the data around self-love and the confidence gap.
What Does The Data Say?
- A study conducted at the University of Wisconsin showed the more self-compassion you have the greater your emotional intelligence.
- 50% of females in management roles or higher reported feelings of self-doubt around their career and performance.
- Companies aligned with self-love and wellbeing are 20% more profitable and get 10% higher customer reviews.
If you’ve been here with Lifestyle Perfected for a while, you’ll know the importance of emotional intelligence when it comes to all things performance, leadership and personal development.
What’s interesting about this data is how we can elevate different areas like; leadership, communication, life balance, personal relationships and spirituality simply by loving ourselves and developing greater self-esteem and compassion.
Kamal Ravikant, author of Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On it and co-founder of several companies in Silicon Valley says this quote at the start of his book.
“The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you were hanging off a cliff with your fingers. As if your life depended on it. It’s been transformative for me. I know it will be transformative for you.”
You’re hard on yourself and it’s easy to do when in positions of responsibility.
You have a tough day.
Meetings go wrong
You fired a vendor because of a lack of performance
whatever it may be… has left you feeling down.
We then may carry this into the next day and continue to feel bad and beat ourselves up again for beating ourselves up in the first place. It’s a cycle worth bringing awareness to.
All of a sudden, we’ve spent an entire week miserable.
This feeling shows up in how we carry ourselves, how we perform, what we eat, how we communicate and it serves no one. Especially not yourself.
The way I see it is we’ve been given this incredible opportunity. An opportunity to embark on this journey through life and we shouldn’t be choosing to devalue ourselves and that experience by being miserable.
I get it though. We make mistakes.
When we make mistakes we have a choice to feel a certain way. We don’t have to beat ourselves up.
When I’ve made a mistake as a CEO, ran out of money and had a business fail I chose to forgive myself.
I let go of the belief where if I forgive myself for messing up I won’t go as hard and be as successful, and I was still successful.
This is a fallacy, and if you choose to believe that you can succeed even more by being forgiving to yourself, then you may enjoy the journey even more.
We’re the most important person we have and it’s a case of putting on our oxygen mask on first so we can better serve others instead of the other way around. That is who we are as leaders.
The oxygen mask I speak of is self-love.
What Is Self Love
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that develops from the actions we take to develop mentally, physically and spiritually.
It means having self-respect and high regard for your own well-being in the 3 areas I just mentioned. It simply means you don’t sacrifice yourself for others.
Self-love can come in different forms for all of us. Here are a few examples:
- The way you consciously talk to yourself.
- Trusting yourself.
- Being nice to yourself.
- Setting healthy boundaries.
- Forgiving yourself.
- Taking breaks from work.
- Putting your phone down to be present.
- Eating healthily and exercising.
- Reading or relaxing.
How Can We Spot A Misalignment With Self Love?
Firstly, let’s look at where a lack of self-love stems from because it can often be the cause of all of our problems.
It can lead to mundane lives prone to depression, dull routines, reliance on relationships with others and limits on our creativity.
Here are 5 signs you can look for in both yourself and others to see whether a little more self-love is needed:
- Neediness – Seeking attention and affection from others from a place of not fully loving yourself can feel empty and push people away.
- Chaotic relationships – Primarily influenced by a low level of emotional intelligence.
- Eating disorders – Eating too little or too much due to a negative self-image.
- Hypervigilance and perfectionism – Afraid to make mistakes so spend time over analysing and looking for signs of what to do, wear or say.
- Lack of assertiveness – Stemming from a lack of confidence and fear you’ll upset someone. Anger then builds up until a point of eruption.
Let’s Look At The Feelings And Beliefs Around Self Love
- Not enough
- I resent never feeling happy and content.
- I’m an imposter, if people found out the ‘real me’ they wouldn’t respect me.
- No matter what I achieve, I still won’t be enough.
- I don’t deserve to love myself.
- I need to judge my achievements in order to do better and feel better.
These undesired feelings and limiting beliefs can hinder you from experiencing the full enjoyment life has to offer both in the workplace and out of it.
Shifting your beliefs around self-love and transforming the relationships you have with yourself can open the doors to a happier, stress-free, and more creative version of yourself.
So let’s move onto the feelings and beliefs you can adopt that empower you to wake up and love yourself.
- I am open to loving myself and deserve to be happy.
- I am at peace with the people I bring into my life because they love me for who I am.
- I am confident of loving myself and having positive, happy thoughts.
- I am surrendered to any undesired feeling I have and I know they will pass.
- Each day I get to live more and more in my passion and self love.
Action Steps To Start Shifting Your Patterns
So the next step is to start shifting those undesired feelings and beliefs.
Below I have outlined a series of action steps you can introduce to start making that shift.
ACTION STEP 1] Use the gratitude practice every single morning.
It can be something as simple as writing down 3 things you’re grateful for today. Something as fundamental as having food in the fridge or it could be closing another business deal.
Here is a list of 20 ways you can practice gratitude.
ACTION STEP 2] Say “I love you” in the mirror every single day for a minute.
A simple, (and a little woo woo) way of setting your intentions for self love each day. This is a big part of Kamal Ravikants book ‘Love yourself like your life depended on it’ which I really advise you to purchase and read.
ACTION STEP 3] Create routines that align with you.
Both morning and evening routines have the profound power to transform your day.
By filling your cup up first and the last thing you can always ensure you’re coming from a place of love instead of a place of burnout.
Here are a few examples of things you can include in your morning routine.
- Send out a good vibe message on your phone.
- Go through a stretch routine while listening to a meditation track.
- Dance your ass off to your favourite song.
- Write down things you’re grateful for today.
- Drink a big glass of water.
- Move your body by going on a walk or doing a workout.
- Say I love you in the mirror.
Here are a few things you can include in your evening routine:
- Spend some time reading a good book.
- Sing your favourite song.
- Write down things you’re grateful for today.
- Journal and get your vision down on paper.
- Say I love you in the mirror.
One of our CEO clients Ibrahim AlHusseini, Founder and Managing Partner of Full Cycle Fund and world-renowned Impact Investor and environmentalist had this to say about his time working with Lifestyle Perfected:
“Prior to working with Nadav and the Lifestyle Perfected program, I used to push through my days with a controlled level of stress and anxiety. Now I’m able to handle even more responsibility and impact, navigating through it all with ease and joy. My life is a lot of fun now, and both I and the people around me are grateful for Nadav daily.”
If you’d like a complimentary consultation on your self-love or another area of business to elevate the alignment within your company, reply to this email or alternatively, you can see our programs for CEOs and for teams here.
We’re also excited to invite you to apply to CEO Circle. A group for CEOs to elevate emotional intelligence, increase impact and legacy wealth. If you are CEO and/or a founder with $1 million or more in revenue or assets apply here.
Sending you love,
& the Lifestyle Perfected team